Raw and Real Podcast

Episode 10: The Silence of Transitional Loneliness

During this episode of Raw and Real podcast, host Linda Piazza brings an awareness to the subject of loneliness. During this time of COVID 19 many people are experiencing high levels of sadness and depression due to being alone at a time where there is so much fear and uncertainty. While some families and people are craving alone time there are others begging for human connection. 

Episode Highlights:

• Linda talks about the challenges everyone is experiencing through C19
• There is a flip side of the crazy many people are experiencing and that’s people living alone
• Linda believes everyone dealing with COVID 19 have experienced loss especially those alone
• It’s important to understand people alone struggle with admitting they are lonely
• There are many facets of loneliness due to circumstances and a pandemic brings loneliness to a whole other level
• Going through a hard time alone is different and difficult and traumatic
• Linda discusses how someone alone can be overlooked due to others business of dealing with their own stuff
• There is long term concern about how people will come out of a crisis
• Linda talks about during a crisis emotions and feelings go on the back burning and focus is on the person or situation.
• She talks about how she put her emotions on the back burner during her mom, dad and sister’s illness
• People alone during difficult times are challenged with a lot of negative feelings and emotions
• People alone can feel insignificant and unimportant
• Linda talks about mindset and the difficulties someone alone has with feeding their mind positive thoughts and expressing how important it is yet a challenge
• There seems to be little focus on people who are alone, people in nursing homes are not the only ones alone or struggling
• Linda wants to make it clear that everyone in going through, rightfully so, a tough time in all walks of life
• Face to Face is important and not possible now, find another way to let someone alone know you are there and care
• Balancing life is hard right now, life is very unfamiliar, its hard to see outside of yourself during this time
• Children are a concern as their lives have been turned upside down will there be long term affects
• There is a feeling being alone that no one cares as people are busy with life
• Linda talks about God and how you are never alone however He created Man and Woman for relationship, for human connection
• People should make time for those they care about and not wait until someone gets a bad diagnosis. A point is made how people have time they did not seem to have before someone falls ill.
• Loneliness causes isolation causes fear, fear causes anxiety, anxiety causes depression.
• Its important for someone alone to like themselves
• Linda talks about being able to work on some self-improvement, she brings up a point that as a person is alone for an extend period of time self-improvement becomes a challenge
• There are some things you can do, even during a time of social distancing so people know you care, and you are thinking about them
• Linda gets transparent and discusses what she is struggling with
• Linda talks about her thoughts about hell
• At the end do not lose yourself and make sure you take time for the future you

 

3 Key Points:

Be aware of those who are alone

We are in challenging and trying times, will there be long term effects

Communication is important

 

Resources Mentioned: 

• Linda’s Twitter: https://twitter.com/sassy_yankee
• Raw and Real Podcast: https://rawandrealpodcast.podbean.com/
• Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/podcastrawandreal

Episode 09: Being a Prisoner to Others Actions

During this episode of Raw and Real podcast, host Linda Piazza discusses an extremely sensitive subject that she finds hard to talk about, abuse. She talks about the trauma around abuse, the lifelong challenges it causes if you do not get help. She wants to make sure you know whatever the abuse is that you have experienced or witnessed is not your fault. Trauma comes in all shapes, sizes and forms. It does not discriminate and can happen to anyone.

Episode Highlights:

• Trauma is a type of loss in life
• Linda is letting you know this is a particularly important topic that is hard to talk about
• Trauma is caused by many things and impacts a person life forever if not dealt with
• People are fearful of facing trauma and the things that have happened in their lives that have caused trauma
• Linda talks about how children will look at abuse not as trauma but something that is not nice that is happening to them or to someone they love
• As a child trauma is blocked or buried to be able to forget what has happened so you can survive because there is so much emotion around what has happened
• Trauma often occurs later in life when something triggers a memory and stops us in our tracks
• Dealing with what has happened in the past that has caused trauma or our avoidance of it, we call that denial sometimes
• Some who has been abused is a victim
• There are many types of abuse that causes trauma in our lives like physical, emotional, sexual abuse that happens to you or someone else
• Sometimes the abuse is being a witness to abuse happening to someone else
• People many times feel like if they are invisible the abuse will stop, they blame themselves
• Trust can be a challenge when one is a victim of abuse
• Linda talks about children and the difficulty and challenges they face by all forms of abuse and how it can affect them later in life
• A person must deal with the trauma and abuse in their lives or it will dictate your life for the rest of your life
• Linda tells a story of an incident that occurred when she was a child
• Linda talks about her experience from her story and wonders what impact it had on her life as an adult
• Linda made a point about protecting children from over hearing things that can cause them fear or concerns, something that was not thought about years ago
• Linda is letting you know this subject is above her paygrade and encourages you to seek help from a professional
• Understand, don’t judge people you don’t know what they are dealing with
• The cycle of abuse continues through generations unless one of the victims stand up and stop it
• Many times, a person, child or adult feel a responsibility for not protected someone who is being hurt or abused. That is a huge load
• Trauma and abuse can lead to, depression, suicide, heaviness
• If you know someone dealing with any of this offer to help them is someway, get them the professional help they need
• Linda makes it clear that the abusers’ actions are horrible and they are selfish and they need help, their actions are not acceptable.
• Divorce, alcoholism, drug abuse causes a lot of trauma in the family
• Do not avoid so you can live a full, happy joyful life, you deserve to be happy
• Linda advises getting help is not a stigma, do not continue to be their prisoner
• Linda encourages you to get out there and have your best life and stop the vicious cycle

 3 Key Points:

 You are good enough, don’t let someone make you feel less

 You do not deserve to be abused; you did nothing to deserve to be mistreated, it’s   not your fault.

 Make it stop with you, get off the merry go round of family abuse.

 Resources Mentioned: 

• Linda’s Twitter: https://twitter.com/sassy_yankee
• Raw and Real Podcast: https://rawandrealpodcast.podbean.com/
• Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/podcastrawandreal

Suggested Books:

• A Child Called It by Dave Pelzer
• Healing from Hidden Abuse by Shannon Thomas
• Boundaries by Henry Cloud
• Co Dependent No More by Melody Beattle
• Unashamed by Christine Caine

 Hot line:

• National Domestic Hotline www.thehotline.org 1 800 799 7233
• Childhelp National Child Abuse Hotline 800-422-4453
• National Suicide Prevention Hotline 800 272 8255
• Helplines for Victims of Crime: List of Hotlines, Phone Numbers and Websites www.ovc.gov.gov

 

 

 

Episode 08: Use Your Emotions to Find Yourself Again

During this episode of Raw and Real podcast, host Linda Piazza continues last week’s episode on loss of self and uncensored emotions. Linda talks about pulling yourself out, finding who you are, finding the reasons that you lost yourself, feeling comfortable with being who you are, and having uncensored emotions.

Episode Highlights: 

• Linda hopes this episode will help you claim your power back.
• Do not let others have power over you.
• People have a tendency to close off their feelings or emotions while they are grieving.
• You can find light in the darkness, just like you can see the most stars on the darkest nights.
• Even if you are in a dark place, do your best to find something positive.
• You can lose yourself without going through a negative or traumatic experience.
• You may not want to go back to the person you were, and that’s OK.
• Aim for a life that is perfect in your eyes, not somebody else’s.
• Don’t let others’ opinions contribute to your loss of self. You are entitled to your own opinions.
• Allow others to have their own opinions, too.
• You need to know when enough is enough, and when to step back. 
• Letting something go doesn’t stop you from being who you are.
• Compromising on a topic doesn’t mean you are compromising yourself.
• You have to be able to feel again.
• You need to process your losses to be able to move past them.
• If you find a speck of something good, hold on to it and let it pull you through.
• Linda is omitting her segment “Getting the Call” today.
• Linda wants to make it clear that she does not condone abuse, and she is not giving abusers permission to “be themselves” by abusing others.

3 Key Points:

1. There are many reasons you could lose yourself, and you need to identify the reasons to find yourself again.
2. Don’t let other people have power over you or contribute to your loss of self. 
3. Your opinions and emotions are important parts of who you are.

Resources Mentioned: 

• Linda’s Twitter: https://twitter.com/sassy_yankee
• Raw and Real Podcast: https://rawandrealpodcast.podbean.com/
• Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/podcastrawandreal

Episode 07: Free to Find Yourself Again

During this episode of Raw and Real, host Linda Piazza discusses loss of self, and the concept of “free to be me.” Linda talks about various live events that commonly lead to a loss of self, such as divorce, empty nesting, and parenthood. Linda also shares ways people can work on finding themselves again, and that everyone needs to be free to find themselves.

Episode Highlights: 

• If you have suffered a loss, such as a death, divorce, career or family change, etc. you may feel like you are losing part of yourself.
• Many people don’t realize how much a loss can change you.
• It’s important to find the things in your life that do not change you.
• Linda hopes that this podcast will help you recognize yourself after loss.
• Linda shares an experience where she felt like she lost herself, and changed as a person, after the loss of someone close to her.
• Divorce often leads to people losing their sense of self while they try to navigate their new identity.
• Divorce has a trickle effect that leads to little pieces of you going away every day.
• Changing jobs or losing a job is another life event that can cause you to lose your sense of self or go through a personality change.
• Empty nesting - especially for single parents - can be incredibly difficult.
• Parents going through a divorce often do not realize the full impact it is having on their children.
• In the midst of child-rearing, many parents put their own needs on the back-burner. When those children grow and leave, parents may not know what to do with themselves, or may not recognize themselves or their spouse.
• Linda talks about how her relationship with her own children has changed as they have grown and moved out of the house.
• New moms and moms of young children also frequently struggle with a loss of self.
• Moms of young children may lose their sense of self as they try to handle having less time for themselves or time with their partner.
• There are steps to take on the path to finding yourself, and the first is to let go.
• Grief and mourning are important, but once you’ve walked through them you have to let them go to move on.
• Linda has been using time to herself recently to gain perspective, especially about connections with people she has lost over time.
• Take the time to find yourself and get yourself grounded.
• Linda does her segment “taking the call.”
• Take a picture of yourself that represents the real you, put it somewhere you will see it, and make it a priority every day to be that person.

3 Key Points:

1. There are many different life events that can cause a person to lose their sense of self.
2. Empty nesting, especially for single parents, can be very difficult as people try to navigate their new roles and figure out who they are now.
3. Letting go is the first step to finding yourself again.

Resources Mentioned: 

• Linda’s Twitter: https://twitter.com/sassy_yankee
• Raw and Real Podcast: https://rawandrealpodcast.podbean.com/
• Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/podcastrawandreal

Episode 06: Share Your Memories, Tell Your Stories

Summary: During today’s episode of Raw and Real, host Linda Piazza continues the conversation of memories of people we have lost. Linda tells her listeners stories and memories she has of multiple people she has lost, including her parents, sister, and close friends. Linda feels that holding onto these memories and sharing them is a very important part of the grieving process and helps to keep them alive.

Episode Highlights: 

• Linda believes that a critical part of the grieving process is carrying the memories of people you have lost.
• Linda is grateful for her faith and the role it plays in grieving and moving on from the loss.
• Linda comes from a very large family, and so has also experienced many personal losses in her life.
• Linda talks about some of the people she has lost, including her father-in-law, and shares some memories she has of them.
• Linda shares some memories of her father-in-law close to his passing where they joked about some traditions she brought into their family.
• Linda also shares memories about Nena, who she met when she was working at a car dealership.
• Nena left behind an 18-month-old son, and Linda loves to share her memories of Nena with him to help him know his mom.
• Linda also shares her memories of a woman named Ruby, and the time she broke Ruby’s garbage disposal.
• Ada was another friend of Linda’s, and Linda shares multiple memories about her.
• Linda lost her mom in 2010, her dad in 2014, and her sister in 2019, and she tells some stories about each of them.
• Linda share thoughts and memories of her Godmother Elaine
• Without sharing these memories, Linda feels that another little piece of the people dies every day.
• Sharing stories can help others build memories and pictures of people, even if they may not remember them or if they never met.

3 Key Points:

1. Linda believes that faith plays a very important role in coping with loss.
2. Linda shares her memories of multiple important people in her life.
3. Sharing memories of people you have lost is a way to keep them alive.

Resources Mentioned: 

• Linda’s Twitter: https://twitter.com/sassy_yankee
• Raw and Real Podcast: https://rawandrealpodcast.podbean.com/
• Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/podcastrawandreal

 

Episode 05: Keeping Memories Alive

During this episode of Raw and Real, Linda Piazza discusses memories of people we love and how we honor people we have lost by sharing our memories. Linda shares personal stories about how she has told stories of her loved ones to keep their spirits alive so they do not get forgotten, and also gives advice for how to keep memories so they last generations.

Episode Highlights: 

• If we can’t share our memories, eventually they will be forgotten. Sharing memories is how we can keep them alive.
• It has been 8 months since Linda’s sister passed away, and she has found it very helpful to talk about her.
• Memories don’t always have to be stories, they can also be pictures, songs, or other things that remind you of that person.
• Linda has shared so many memories of her father with her daughter that her daughter was surprised to learn that she had not actually known him.
• Who do you need to share a memory with?
• Sharing memories is an important part of the grieving process.
• Without memories, a lot of history would be forgotten, and in a sense would no longer exist.
• Pictures are a great way to keep someone's memory alive and ensure that the memory can continue for generations.
• Journaling is another good way to keep memories in a way that will be long-lasting.
• Linda shares the story of when she found out that her sister had cancer. 
• Every day and every conversation is a memory that you are building.

3 Key Points:

1. Sharing memories is a way to keep someone’s spirit “alive” after they have passed.
2. Sharing stories is important to the grieving process after you have lost someone close to you.
3. There are multiple ways you can preserve memories, such as pictures, so they will be long-lasting and can be passed down.

   Resources Mentioned: 

   • Linda's Twitter
   • Raw and Real Podcast Website
   • Raw and Real Podcast Facebook

Episode 04: How to Focus on a Positive Mindset During Fear and a Lack of Control

In this episode of Raw and Real, a podcast about people dealing with loss, host Linda Piazza talks about the issues of lacking control and possessing fear in response to the coronavirus COVID-19 pandemic. Linda Piazza not only provides useful tips that you can start applying right away, but she shares personal steps she is taking in her own life during this difficult time of confusion. 

Episode Highlights: 

• Linda Piazza talks about how coronavirus COVID-19 is creating a sense of fear and confusion. 
• When we feel a lack of control we tend to isolate and panic. 
• Find the best ways to overcome what we are feeling in response to COVID-19. 
• The longer you stay stationary and stuck to your couch feeling sorry for yourself, the harder it will become to bounce back in a positive way. 
• Coping skills emerge during tough times and uncomfortable and unfamiliar situations. 
• Linda Piazza is taking control of the coronavirus situation by staying home as much as possible and not wanting to potentially contract the virus and accidentally give it to someone else.  
• Losing our daily freedoms creates anxiety and unhappiness. 
• Linda shares many things you can do to take your concentration off of fear and improve your mindset right now and your life down the road. 
• This Getting the Call segment about Linda Piazza’s personally overcoming challenges is about her daughter being in the hospital. 
• Reconnect with your family members and friends.  

3 Key Points:

1. Work towards getting into a positive mindset to motivate yourself to work your body, mind, and spirit and overcome fear from a lack of control. 
2. Focus on giving fuel to the things you can control: body, mind, lifestyle, and responses. 
3. Things you can do to get your mind off of the fear from COVID-19 include: exercising, reading upbeat books, gardening, watching movies that evoke joy, socializing by phone calls/text/webcam, cleaning your house, art projects, working on a business, and things you previously wished you had time to do. 

Resources Mentioned:

• Linda Piazza’s Social Media: Twitter
• Raw and Real podcast: rawandrealpodcast.podbean.com
• Raw and Real Podcast Facebook: facebook.com/podcastrawandreal

Episode 03: What to Do When You’re Broken

During Episode 3, host Linda Piazza guides us through what to do when you’re broken due to an obstacle or difficulty you’ve faced in life. If you feel broken, lonely, or sad, this episode will remind you of the importance of letting others in to help you put the pieces back together.

Episode Highlights: 

• Are you broken? What breaks you? How long do you stay broken?
• Linda saw a broken butterfly on the ground. She tried to encourage it and started thinking about brokenness.
• At one point before your loss, you were free and beautiful and living a great life. Then something happened.
• If you're broken, what caused you to be broken? When you were broken, how long did you stay there?
• How often do you tell people that you're going through a tough time?
• Brokenness is not a weakness. It's a normal phase through the journey of loss.
• A lot of what may break you is out of your control.
• Brokenness is normal.
• If you try to sweep your brokenness under the rug, you'll stay broken for a long time.
• When you're broken, you need people around you to help you piece yourself back together again.
• When you allow people in, the process of fixing yourself is less messy.
• You want people in your life who are going to take the broken you and love you.
• Allow yourself to feel.
• Don’t stay stuck.
• Lean on people and let them know what you need.
• Linda describes receiving the news of a tragic loss.
• Those calls will change your life and they will break you every time you get them. 
• You cannot do this alone. You don't have to do this alone.
• Being broken is ok. It's part of the grieving process.
• If you're broken, lonely, or sad, call your friends and have them be there for you.

3 Key Points:

1.   Though many people do not wish to admit that they’re broken, experiencing brokenness is a normal part of life.
2.   You can begin to repair your brokenness by allowing other people in and not trying to fix yourself on your own.
3.   Being broken is OK. It is a part of the grieving process. 

Resources Mentioned:

• Raw and Real podcast: Facebook, Website 

 

Episode 02: Craving a Conversation with Someone You’ve Lost

During Episode 2 of the Raw and Real Podcast, host Linda Piazza guides us through what to do when you’re craving a conversation with someone you’ve lost. If you’ve ever reached to pick up the phone to call someone who is no longer in your life, this episode can offer you the comfort of knowing you are not alone. 

Episode Highlights: 

• Have you ever craved a conversation you can no longer have?
• There is a reminder of that loss each time this happens.
• You may be having a lonely cup of coffee, when once you enjoyed that coffee with a conversation.
• The reminder that someone is no longer there happens when you want to talk to them and realize again that you can't.
• Linda's sister always called on her birthday. When that phone call didn't come in this year, that was a painful reminder. It's almost like getting the news of that loss all over again.
• Think of someone you used to be close friends with and you've had a falling out with them. They may be the first person you'd think of to call in certain situations, but then you remember that you can't call them. This is a reminder of what you lost.
• Re-examine the situation and see if it can be salvaged. Pick up the phone and let them know you miss them and would like to resolve the situation.
• The loss in a divorce is a little bit different than the loss associated with death.
• It's an instant forgetfulness that happens that makes you think you can call that person.
• Do you call somebody else? Do you have a meltdown? Do you write a letter? You can talk out loud and hope that they can hear you.
• You can still tell them what you're thinking, how you feel, or about an exciting thing that happened.
• Linda describes some of the people and conversations that she misses.
• Sometimes in life we are too busy for friends and family. Someone calls and we decide not to pick up the phone and we don't call them back. Some regret comes with that.
• Be present. Work on your relationships. Don’t take phone calls for granted.
• Be purposeful in building relationships and having conversations.

3 Key Points:

1.   Many people crave conversations with those who are no longer in their lives.
2.   You can try having a conversation out loud with your lost loved one, believing they might hear you.
3.   Be present and focus on your relationships. Appreciate every call. 

Resources Mentioned:

• Raw and Real podcast: Facebook, website

Episode 01: The Secret to Surviving Emotional Losses

In this very first episode of Raw and Real, a podcast about people dealing with loss, host Linda Piazza talks about the different types of losses that we typically experience in our lifetime, even the losses that we may assume are quickly forgotten but become repressed. Find out how to survive your personal heart-breaking moments as well as those that your loved ones may encounter. 

Episode Highlights: 

• Linda Piazza lists out the various types of losses, including things we don’t always associate with loss. 
• Miscarriages can create difficult communication situations where loved ones and friends of the people who lost the baby may not know what to say to comfort them or how to share their condolences out of fear of upsetting them.
• People often don’t understand your loss unless they have gone through it themselves.  
• Loneliness can lead people to a dark place and even suicide. 
• Everybody is different. We don’t experience forms of loss the same. 
• What are the common reactions to loss?  
• Don’t feel that there is something wrong with you when undergoing reactions to loss...just don’t stay stuck there.  
• Your lifestyle role typically can change during loss. 
• Denial often becomes an immediate yet temporary coping mechanism when we lose loved ones.   
• You will find peace and gain confidence in the aftermath of loss.  
• Handling loss isn’t a quick fix. It is a journey.  
• Linda Piazza has been dealing with the loss of her sister. 
• Which other losses has Linda Piazza personally gone through?     
• You lose a little bit of yourself in every loss you experience in life? 
• Loss tends to generate more empathy for others facing similar issues. 
• We are mistakenly led to believe that grief has a time limit caused by other people’s discomfort with our sadness.  
• What does survival look like? 
• God meets you where you are at and never leaves you alone.  
• Living is a gift and if we don’t survive our losses, we lose that gift too.   
• Don’t stay stuck in your anger, depression, and frustration.  

3 Key Points:

1. The many forms of loss include: empty nesting, losing a job, losing a house, losing a business partner, the loss of self, death, divorce and losing friendship, miscarriages, a broken heart, and loneliness, 
2. Common reactions to loss are stress, depression, anxiety, isolation, physical reactions like not eating or sleeping, denial, a loss of control, anger, avoidance, and blaming yourself or others. 
3. You survive what you have been through by dealing with your pain and sadness and allowing yourself to feel the pain and sadness.  

Resources Mentioned:

• Raw and Real podcast: Facebook, website